You don’t learn about ‘what makes a good parent’ in school or anywhere else. All parents have unconditional love for their children and they want the best for them; but they do not initially know how to be great parents. If the role of a parent makes you anxious because you are always afraid of making mistakes, follow these 5 tips on how to become a good parent.
1. Be kind to yourself (and your children)
If you are trying to learn what makes a good parent, you should know that in the course of your life you will also make many mistakes as a parent. Accept your mistakes and know your limits. Realize that you are not perfect, but you try to raise your children the best you can. If you will not accept that you have a hard temper or that you’re not quite encouraging, you will not be able to change.
Do not criticize yourself too much, and don’t vigorously criticize your children’s past mistakes. Forgive yourself and forgive your children. Forget the mistakes and learn to do better.
2. Learn to recognize emotions and express them
Yours to begin with. Are you experiencing anger, sadness, joy, fear or anxiety? Do you recognize these emotions in you?
Children are like sponges, they feel our emotions and they copy our gestures and attitude. Help them to recognize emotions and to express them. No emotion is bad. They are part of us and must be fully accepted. If you help him to express the emotion he’s feeling, and allow him to learn how to control it, it will drastically reduce the crises of anger and improve his confidence in you.
3. Expect your children to give the best of themselves
All children need to be supervised and know what is expected of them. Young children need to be supervised more and follow more rules. Adolescents still need guidance but they should be held accountable for their actions.Do not try to rescue your children from their mistakes. Let them live with the consequences. If you protect your children from reality, they will never learn. It’s always better for them to learn things by themselves.
Children should contribute to the family life. The tasks given to them, such as house chores, are not a form of exploitation but a way for them to learn how to be responsible. Having expectations will help your child be aware of their strengths and enhance their self-esteem.
4. Work as a team
Work hard with a team that will help you raise your children. Do not criticize other members of the team (your spouse, grandparents, teachers) who raise or educate your children. You do not have to agree with everything the others do but you should almost always listen to what they have to say. If you separated from your spouse, it’s particularly important not to be too critical with your ex partner. If you speak bad of the other parent the child will be put in an impossible situation.
If you do not have a partner, look for other people to help you. Choose adults who are good role models for your children. Limit your children’s relationships with adults who are a bad influence.
5. Lots of love
Children need our love and attention. Our jobs take too much of our time and we often have many other important things to do. We must take the time to love our children. Children need our attention and unconditional love. Because love is truly what makes a good parent.
Our children need real attention and affection. But, do not overdo it. If you tell your child that he is the best hockey player and he is not really good, he will know that your compliments are unfounded. But, in general, be generous in your praise, it will not make your kids spoiled.